Harsh Realities
by kerianne
Summary: The third story in the Fire and Ice arc. Here's where it gets weird, kiddies. ^^;;;
1. One

Author:

Author: Kerianne _  
_Email: [][1]mpike@froggernet.com _  
_Title: Harsh Realities_  
_Spoilers: None _  
_Warnings: Language, a wee bit of violence, and an utterly crackhead plotline. ^^;;;_  
_Author's Notes: I wasn't going to post this until it was finished, but since people have been requesting it, I figured I might as well put it up. It's the third story in the arc that began with "Fire and Ice" and continued with "Thorns". If you haven't read those two fics, parts of this one will not make any sense to you, so click on my author profile and read those first. This one has actual plot, but it's not going to be everyone's cup of tea. You're going to think it's insanely OOC for a while. Bear with me, please, everything will (sort of) make sense later. ^^

Chapter 1:

"Ran... listen, I'm sorry. I know I chose the absolute worst possible person to fall in love with... I know you don't approve... but..."

Aya Fujimiya trailed off and stared at her own guilty-looking reflection in the mirror. No, that was never going to work. The moment the word "love" left her mouth, her brother would have slammed the door in her face.

Taking a deep breath, she began again. "Ran... niisan... please forgive me, I didn't mean to accuse you of being a bad brother, and I didn't mean to go chasing after one of your worst enemies with intent to..." She stopped again; what exactly _had_ her intent been? Even she didn't know that.

"Ran, I'm an idiot..." she murmured softly, crossing her arms on the vanity table and laying her head on them. She really was. ~*_Just a child... a *stupid* child...*~_

Shaking her head, Aya attempted to block the memory of Schuldig's harsh words out of her mind. _~He had no reason to treat me that way. No reason at all. I did nothing wrong,~ _she told herself firmly. _~I'm right, he's wrong._~

_~So why doesn't that make me feel any better?~_

Sighing, Aya stood up from the vanity and gave her reflection one more worried glance. _~I'm as ready as I'll ever be.~_ Then she set out to make the most difficult apology of her life.

* * * * *

She expected Ran to be the one to answer the door, but found that it was Yohji instead. She supposed she was grateful for this, because some part of her had been afraid that her brother might just shut the door in her face... shutting her out of his life forever. Swallowing hard, she pushed the bleak thoughts out of her head and offered Yohji as cheerful a greeting as she could muster.

The tall playboy gave her one of his classic heart-stopping smiles, peering down at her over the rims of his sunglasses. "Aya-chan, looking lovely as usual this morning," he said smoothly, taking her arm and leading her into the shop.

"You flatter me, Yohji-san," she responded, with none of her usual humor. He stopped, turning around so that he was facing her, and took off his shades, a concerned look in his green eyes. "Worried about Ran?" he asked in a soft, serious tone. When no answer came, other than Aya's downcast expression, he put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I won't lie to you, he is really angry. But... Aya, you're everything to him. He just wants to keep you safe. I'm sure if you promise to stay away from that creep, he'll come around."

Aya looked up, meeting his gaze confidently. "That's the problem, Yohji," she said in a quiet, even tone.

"What?"

She shook her head sadly. "I don't know if I can make that promise."

Yohji's eyes widened in shock. "Aya, don't tell me..." He pulled away from her suddenly, slamming a fist into his hand and swearing softly. "I don't know what kind of hold he's got over you, but he's--"

"Where is my brother?" Her voice was calm, but laced with steel.

"Aya, please... before you talk to him, just listen to me..."

"I want to see Ran now."

He looked at her for a moment more, disbelief, anger and worry flashing through his eyes like turbulent storm clouds. Finally, recognizing the trait of iron will that she and her brother shared, he backed down. "Fine. He's in the back room." He stalked off, muttering something about "fucking stubborn" and running both hands through his longish blond hair.

With a slight humorless smile, Aya crossed the shop and opened the door to the back room. Her brother's back was turned, and he seemed to be completely immersed in creating a flower arrangement. Only someone who knew him as well as Aya did would have noticed the slight tremble in his hands as he twisted the stems together, his overly stiffened posture, the way he bowed his head a little too low as he worked. Doing her best to ignore the stab of pain in her heart at seeing him so upset, she stepped forward and cleared her throat softly.

Immediately he sat up straight, turning around and regarding her with cold, unreadable eyes. Aya wanted to look away from the accusation, the anger and hurt and shame that she knew she would see in those eyes, but she forced herself to look back steadily.

Finally he nodded politely to her. "Konnichiwa, imouto-chan."

Aya greeted him in return, expression troubled. An uneasy silence settled between them, and she was just about to make an excuse and leave when he finally spoke.

"Did you go to see him last night?"

She closed her eyes. ".... Yes." When she looked up at him again, he was staring off into space, lips pressed tightly together. She couldn't tell if he was angry or not.

"Please don't be ashamed of me," she murmured finally, when the waiting became too much to bear. "I... I... gomen nasai..."

His eyes snapped back to her. "It's not your fault."

"What... what do you mean it's not my fault?"

"You know about his powers, right? You know he's a telepath?" Ran's voice was cold, impassive, betraying almost none of the hatred she could sense that he felt toward the subject of conversation.

Aya frowned, realizing what her brother was thinking. "This has nothing to do with that, niichan." Of course, Ran wanted to believe that Schuldig was manipulating her. He couldn't allow himself to face the fact that his sister just happened to choose the one man he hated most to fall for. _I should have expected this... but how am I going to convince him?_

He looked up at her, concern softening his violet eyes. "I shouldn't have let him get anywhere near you," he said softly. "It's my fault..."

"It's no one's fault, because nothing has happened," Aya said impatiently. "He hasn't hurt me yet--" _not physically, anyway,_ she thought, with a slight twinge of sadness, "-- and he isn't going to."

"Aya, he raped you." Ran's voice was trembling a little. He paused, composing himself, and continued. "You don't know who you're dealing with. He's not just some tortured soul waiting for you to save him... He's a cold-blooded killer. I don't know what kind of lies he's told you--"

"Why doesn't anyone believe that I can think for myself?" she snapped. "It doesn't matter, anyway. I won't see him again. I was getting too close, and he told me to leave. He said he was playing a game, and now the game is over. Isn't that what you wanted?" To Ran's shock, she was practically shaking with emotion by the time she finished speaking, eyes shimmering with tears. "I have to go. I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything..." Burying her face in her hands, she hurried out of the back room and out of the shop, leaving a confused and worried Ran alone with his flower arrangement once again.

Amethyst eyes stared dazedly at the spot that the distraught girl had just vacated. Ran took a deep breath, anger at Schuldig and worry for his sister at war within his mind. Anger won out at last. No matter what the situation, the bastard had to pay. If he was mentally manipulating her, then he had to be stopped before he infiltrated Weiss and began using her against them.

And if he wasn't.... if not, then he had just broken Aya's heart.

* * * * *

"She is alone, sir."

Minamoto looked up in surprise upon hearing his aide's voice, eyes quickly flicking toward the black screen in front of him, on which a small, blinking green dot was moving slowly. "Where?"

"Outside the Koneko no Sumu Ie flowershop, moving steadily west. Most likely returning to her apartment."

"No witnesses?"

"No, sir."

"Good." Minamoto smiled faintly, then switched quickly back into serious business mode. "Where will she be intercepted?"

"Halfway between the flower shop and the apartment. Takayama and Mitchell have been notified." The aide smirked a little. "The action begins in approximately five minutes."

"Excellent. So we'll have her here in about..."

"Half an hour or so, sir. Give or take a few minutes."

"Wonderful...."

* * * * *

_~Wonderful. You have really messed things up this time, baka. Yohji's mad at you, niisan is either mad at you or thinks you've completely lost your mind, and you're going through all this for a man who sees you as little more than a toy to be played with. And now he doesn't even want you for _that_.~_

With tears still coursing down her cheeks, Aya stopped running, leaning over slightly to catch her breath. She'd been running ever since she'd left the Koneko, and without even realizing it she'd made it almost halfway to her apartment. She was eventually going to have to go back and get her car. At the moment, she didn't care. The further she could go, the better.

"Excuse me, are you all right?" The voice caught her off-guard, and she looked up into an unfamiliar but kind-looking face. The man looked to be only a few years older than Aya, and he had open, friendly features.

For an instant she considered spilling her whole tragic story to this stranger-- after all, he seemed a lot friendlier than her brother, or Yohji, or Schuldig, or anyone she had dealt with in the past few days, for that matter. Realizing how silly and pathetic she would sound, she nodded and managed a smile. "I'm fine."

The man reached out to take her arm, concern crossing his face. "You're exhausted-- you look like you can hardly stand. Where are you going?"

"Oh, just back to my apartment-- don't worry about me, it's not too much farther now, I'll be fine--" But despite her protests, the man was firmly propelling her along toward his car. "Um, excuse me... I don't want a ride, really, I'd rather walk--"

The man jerked her arm, spinning her around to face him, and Aya felt a sudden chill of fear. The once friendly and open features had twisted into a cruel, mocking mask. "I don't think you have a choice anymore, sweetheart."

She screamed then, and was about to deliver a few well-placed kicks when she felt another pair of arms wrap around her from behind, catching her by surprise. Before she could react, her other arm had been twisted behind her back and a sickly-sweet smelling cloth was pressed firmly over her mouth and nose.

And after that-- silence.

* * * * *

At that exact moment, about six miles away, Schuldig sat up straight on his couch, an ear-splitting mental scream reverbating through his mind.

He waited a few moments for his vision to clear and the ringing in his ears to fade to a tolerable level, then settled back into a more relaxed position. Yes, he recognized the voice, and he knew what had happened to cause that sudden explosion of thought waves. No one had told him, he hadn't actively sought to root it out of anyone's mind, he just _knew._ It didn't happen often, and usually only when he had some sort of deep connection with the person...

Refusing to acknowledge the memories that suddenly stirred up within him, he absently rubbed the back of his neck and wondered vaguely why she would call for help from him of all people. He'd never done a thing to help her, never shown her the slightest bit of compassion or even companionship. And yet, still, she refused to hate him. Still she believed in his potential, still she had some sort of hopeless, reckless faith in him.

He gave a small, bitter chuckle. _Faith in me... you may as well put your life in the hands of the Devil himself._ And her life was in his hands now, he realized. With the information he held, he could save her.... or he could sit back and allow her to die, or worse. _One less pure soul in the world to make the guilty ones look worse...._

Schuldig put his hands behind his head, lay back on the couch and closed his eyes. _Not my problem, after all._

* * * * *

Aya awoke slowly, her senses returning one by one... the sound of voices, faint, in the distance; the smell of sweet, fresh air; the sensation of wet grass against her cheek and soft ground beneath her curled-up body. Having expected to awaken in a hospital bed, or worse yet, lying on the concrete somewhere, she allowed her eyes to flutter open and found herself staring up into the clearest blue sky she had ever seen.

She stretched out a little and looked around from her spot on the ground, not quite trusting her spinning head to allow her to sit up. How in Kami-sama's name had she managed to get from the middle of Tokyo to... here?

_Here_ was the exact opposite of the city of Tokyo, an idyllic country setting that looked exactly like something out of a novel. Everything was... well, perfect. The sky was an intense light blue, interrupted only by the soft, bright white clouds drifting by. Lush, verdant trees stood out in sharp contrast. Every color seemed amplified, made purer and sharper, and she was suddenly overcome by the uneasy feeling that she had seen this place before.

"Silly place to fall asleep," giggled a vaguely familiar, high-pitched voice. Aya sat up, ignoring the slight pain in her head, and turned to face the speaker-- 

And found herself looking into her own face.

No, not the way she looked now... the way she had looked around age 6 or 7, all sparkling dark eyes and childish innocence, hair parted and fixed into two neat braids on either side of her round face.

"You... you're..." Aya stammered out, wishing she could just go back to being unconscious-- it had been much less confusing.

The little girl gave a lopsided grin, and suddenly she didn't look quite as much like Aya anymore... her eyes had more crafty mischief in them than Aya could remember seeing in her own eyes, and her smile had an odd, knowing quality to it. Somehow, that smile was familiar too.... 

"What's wrong, okaasan? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

Aya flinched. _Mother? How... even if I was a mother, she's too old to be my child!_ A chill ran down her spine suddenly. Something was very, very wrong here.

"Who are you?" she asked the girl.

The child giggled again. "Is this a game, okaasan? You know me! Michi!"

"I'm sure I don't know anyone named Michi... You must be mistaken," Aya said apologetically, climbing to her feet and completely taking in her surroundings. On one side of the small clearing she stood in was a stream, crystal clear water meandering off into the forest just beyond it. A few feet in front of her, a dirt path began weaving its way back to a small white cottage off in the distance. Besides the house, the river and the woods, there was nothing but grass and sky as far as the eye could see. Aya felt suddenly very claustrophobic, very trapped, despite the illusion of wide open space. Another chill wriggled its way down her spine. _There's something not quite right about this place..._

"You're so silly." Michi's laughter pierced through her thoughts, and Aya went back to staring at the girl. The resemblance was amazing... but there was no possible way this girl could be her child, was there? Suddenly a horrible thought occurred to her. What if she wasn't even herself anymore?

Abruptly she turned and ran over to the stream, ignoring her "daughter's" confused pleas for her to wait, leaning over the water to catch her own reflection. Yes, it still looked like her... same eyes, same hair... but her face looked rounder, more filled out, and there were lines around her eyes that had never been there before. Looking down at herself, she realized that her figure had changed as well, rounded slightly, become curvier. She looked.... Older.

Standing up straight, Aya stared off beyond the stream to the flat, vibrantly colored expanse of grass that stretched--

_(endlessly)_

_--_ as far as she could see. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to think rationally about the situation. _Okay. I'm in a place that couldn't possibly be anywhere near home, and I've never seen it before but it still seems awfully familiar. There's a girl over there who looks exactly like me, claiming to be my daughter. And I somehow added about ten years onto my age since I was attacked._

_I think it's about time for me to wake up, right?_

She closed her eyes, then opened them again. The same scene was still there, and her reflection still looked like an older version of herself. It didn't seem to be a dream....

How long had she been unconscious? What if she'd slipped back into a coma? Was she even really conscious right now? Her next thought was a downright terrifying one.... _What if she had never awakened from the coma at all?_

"Okaasan? Michi says you're acting weird." Another voice, a boy's this time. Aya turned to face him, expecting another clone of herself, only in male form this time. Instead, somewhat to her relief, she found that the boy who had addressed her bore almost no resemblance to her at all, except for his hair color. He had deep blue eyes--

_(beautiful, like ice)_

-- and messy dark hair that was probably a little longer than it should have been, his bangs nearly tumbling into his eyes. He looked a bit older than his sister, around ten or eleven years old.

"Hello?" He was frowning at her, waiting for a response.

"And who are you?" Aya asked bemusedly, trying to keep her tone and spirits light. If she thought about this too much, she would go insane.

The boy rolled his eyes heavenward and gave the same oddly recognizable lopsided grin that his sister had. "Very funny. You know perfectly well who I am."

"I assume you're my... son..."

"Well, yeah..." The boy raised an eyebrow. "Michi was right, you _are_ acting weird." He turned and began walking away. "I'll go get otousan, maybe he'll be able to help you with whatever's wrong with you..."

"Matte!"

He turned around.

"What's your name?"

The boy blinked. "Christian... You know that!" Shaking his head, he continued walking.

_Christian... that's definitely a foreign name...._ Suddenly something clicked in Aya's mind, and her eyes widened. The crafty, knowing grin... the blue eyes... the messy hair... a foreigner...

_No. Not even possible._ But anything was possible in this weird, backwards, surreal world she had somehow stumbled into, wasn't it? And it would be such perfect irony if the father of her children in this alternate universe turned out to be...

"Liebe? Something wrong?"

Aya shut her eyes and took a deep breath. A moment later she opened them, looked up into the shockingly familiar face, and smiled brightly. "No, Schuldig, everything is just fine."

Then she closed her eyes again and voluntarily passed out.

_end chapter 1_

   [1]: mailto:mpike@froggernet.com



	2. Two

Author:

Author: Kerianne _  
_Email: [][1]mpike@froggernet.com _  
_Title: Harsh Realities(2/?)_  
_Spoilers: None _  
_Warnings: Language, a wee bit of violence, and an utterly crackhead plotline. ^^;;;_  
_Author's Notes: More insanity. ^^;;; If you've made it this far, you should be fine. *snicker*

Chapter 2:

_~Still can't reach her... why am I still trying?~_

Not because he cared, Schuldig decided, thoughtfully chewing a bite of his sandwich. He was just curious, that was all. He knew Aya had been kidnapped, but his powers hadn't been able to tell him what the kidnappers were going to do with her. And it was a bit confusing that he was unable to contact her mentally. He had a vague estimated idea of where she was, however. And if he cared, he'd probably get in the car and go check the place out... see if he could find out what they'd done with her. 

But, he didn't, so he wasn't going to.

He took another bite of the sandwich. "I bet Ran's driving himself absolutely insane worrying about her," he said to himself, around the mouthful. "The rest of em, too." If he really wanted to be nice, he could take a trip over to the Koneko and give Weiss a heads-up as to what had happened to Aya. 

Right, and then he'd go donate all his money to the starving children in Africa. He snickered to himself. Charity was definitely not his style.

But he would be lying to himself if he was to pretend it wasn't weighing on his mind a bit, and he hated to lie to himself. Not that he really cared what happened to her, but for some reason his mind kept wandering back to her. Curiosity, that was all.

A moment later, Schuldig had found his rationalization. If he planned to play with Weiss in the future, Aya would be an excellent pawn to use against Ran, and even the others. They all loved her to some degree, both in a brotherly way and romantically. And if he allowed her kidnappers to... do whatever they planned to do to her... she wouldn't be very useful to him, would she?

Schuldig nodded decisively to himself and got up from the table, throwing the rest of his sandwich in the garbage and tugging on his green blazer. Yes, he needed her alive. Which meant he really had no choice but to go talk to Weiss and see if they could aid him in rescuing her.

Even though he didn't care. Not one bit.

* * * * *

"Is she going to be all right, otousan?"

"Shhh... I think she's waking up..."

Aya's eyes fluttered open and she stared up at the slowly turning ceiling fan. At least this time, she found herself lying on a couch, pillows piled behind her head, rather than on the ground. However, with a slight groan, she realized that her short visit to dreamland had not awakened her from the living nightmare. The children who claimed to be hers were standing over her, identical expressions of concern on their faces.

And _him..._ well, he was looking at her with an expression she had never in a million years expected that she would see on his face. One of worry, and affection... maybe even love.

Sighing, Aya ran both hands through her hair. "Listen, I don't know what's going on, but I'm not moving from this couch until someone explains what the hell I'm doing here--"

"Don't swear around the children, liebe." The expression of alarm on his face-- and, indeed, just the fact that such words were coming out of his mouth-- would have been hilarious to her under any other circumstances, but in this situation it only served as another reminder that the world was hopelessly, terrifyingly out of whack. Rolling her eyes, she ignored the interruption and continued.

"Someone needs to explain how I got here, where _here_ even is, and how I can get back to my normal life."

Frowning, Schuldig pressed a hand against her forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever... Are you feeling all right?"

"Well, let's see. I'm in some sort of alternate universe, I just found out I'm at least ten years older than I thought I was, and I have two children I've never seen or heard of before. And on top of all that, you're actually being nice to me. All in all, I guess you could say I'm a little confused." She was a bit sorry for her acidic tone and harsh words when she caught the hurt expression on his face-- he looked exactly like a kicked puppy, she thought, resisting the urge to giggle.

Schuldig paused, blue eyes troubled. "Er... Michi, Christian, go back out and play. Your okaasan and I have to talk." Obediently, the children left, and Schuldig returned his attention to Aya. "Liebe, you're scaring me," he said softly. "I don't know what you're talking about. We've lived in this house for eight years now, and we've been married for eleven."

Aya blinked. "Okay, if this is some sort of elaborate joke, or one of your mind tricks, would you mind stopping now? Cause it's really kind of getting old."

He took a deep breath, helping her up into a sitting position and staring directly into her eyes. "I think you'd better tell me your whole story," he said softly.

She told him everything, beginning with the first time they'd met and ending with the kidnapping. By the time she was done, he looked even more troubled. "Aya, love, that doesn't make any sense," he said gently. "You've been here the entire time. There's no way you could have been out on the street being kidnapped... and as far as I know you were never in a coma at all..."

Aya sighed. "Well, that's my past, as well as I can remember it. Apparently our stories don't match."

"Apparently." He nodded, a bemused expression on his face.

"So what do you think?"

"I think you're crazy." He grinned, and for a moment she saw a glimpse of the old Schuldig in his face. Then his expression turned soft again. "But I don't care."

"You... don't?" Aya frowned, and was caught completely by surprise when he leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. It wasn't exactly as she remembered it, slower, softer, and less intense, but it still stirred a few butterflies in her stomach.

He pulled back and smiled at her. "I don't care, because even if you are crazy, you're here, with me, and that's all that matters. This is where you belong. Forever."

The words were probably meant to reassure her, but for some reason they set off alarm bells within her mind. In the current context, it almost seemed like a threat. And this man looked like Schuldig, he had his voice and his mannerisms, but something just wasn't right about him. He was... Nice, for one thing. Mild-mannered, sweet, unassuming and the complete opposite of the sarcastic, moody, self-loathing man she knew.

But as he put an arm around her and pulled her back to settle against him, she realized the main difference between this Schuldig and the one she was used to.

This one loved her back.

* * * * *

"Ran. _Relax._ She's probably staying with a friend or something."

The violet-eyed man was pacing back and forth in front of the flower shop's closed door. He'd closed the Koneko to customers early today, having more pressing issues to deal with than selling flowers to flirty teenage girls. Issues such as the fact that his sister seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth since she'd gone running from the shop four hours earlier.

"Her car is still here, Yohji. Don't you think that's a little odd? Why wouldn't she come back and get it?"

"I don't know, she probably wants to be alone right now. She was really upset," Yohji said, trying to be as tactful as possible in dealing with Ran. Although Ran's face was as impassive as ever, Yohji could tell that his friend was panicking inside. He had always been terribly protective of his imouto, even more so in the days since her connection to Schuldig had been revealed.

"You don't think I didn't _see_ how upset she was?" Ran ranted. "What if she went looking for him again? I should have gone after her... why the hell didn't I go after her?"

Yohji sighed, quickly losing his patience. "Ran, will you please calm down! It's only been a few hours. She probably just found some quiet place somewhere to think and cry and analyze and all that other stuff women like to do when they're unhappy. I'll bet she'll be back for the car in an hour or so."

Ran gave the taller man a worried frown and opened his mouth to speak when the bells on the door began to jingle.

Yohji turned around, blocking the doorway. "I'm sorry, we're closed right no-- oh shit." 

"What?" Ran attempted to peer around Yohji's shoulder, but the combination of Yohji being in the way and the shadows from the quickly setting sun blocked his view of the figure. As it was, Yohji stepped back to stand beside him, and Ran was able to clearly see the face that had elicited his friend's outburst.

"You again..." Ran snarled, about to leap forward, but Yohji held him back. Making a mental note to kill Yohji after he was finished killing Schuldig, the Weiss redhead reluctantly stopped. "How dare you set foot in my shop, Schwarz. I should kill you right now."

"_Should_ and _will_ are not the same thing, Fujimiya," Schuldig answered with a faint smile, stepping forward. "And I don't think you _will_, because I have some information I think you'd find awfully interesting... perhaps even invaluable."

"Don't play games," Yohji said in a low tone, more controlled than Ran but equally angry. "What do you know?"

"Seen your sister lately, Fujimiya?"

Yohji felt Ran's muscles tense up even more beneath his hand, and tightened his grip on his fellow assassin's shoulder. 

"What the fuck did you do with her?" Ran was nearly trembling with anger, his breath coming in quick, shallow gasps.

"Would you mind calming down? It's _so_ stressful trying to talk to someone who's so uptight." Schuldig smirked, venturing to come a little closer. "And _I_ haven't done anything with your precious sister. Someone else did."

"You have exactly ten seconds to start telling me everything you know," Ran responded ominously.

Schuldig held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, I didn't come here to antagonize. Believe it or not, I actually want to help. Your sister's been kidnapped. During the struggle, she and I formed a momentary mental link... it happens sometimes during an extreme shock, one mind reaches out for another, and I just happened to pick it up. That's how I know about it."

Ran glared at him suspiciously. "Who's behind it?"

"I don't know. All I know is the general vicinity of the place where she's being held. I haven't been able to reach her mentally since then."

There was a moment of uneasy silence, while Ran tried to decide if it would be worse to trust Schuldig and end up in a trap, or not trust him and possibly allow his sister to remain in danger. "How do we know this isn't another one of Schwarz's traps?" he asked finally, in a cold voice. "Give me one good reason why I should trust you."

"Schwarz is now defunct. It's just me now. I'm living on my own, living on my share of the money we made from Takatori and Estet. I've retired, so to speak." Schuldig met Ran's steel gaze with one of his own. "And to answer your second question... you should trust me because you love your sister, and you want to help me save her."

Ran blinked, eyebrows knitting in confusion. He certainly hadn't expected a response like that... he wanted _them_ to help _him_ save her?

"I have just one question," Yohji broke in. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you here? Why are you doing this? And most interestingly, why does it matter to you?"

Schuldig stared at his former enemy, expression serious. "Just between us.... I really don't know."

* * * * *

"I've got to go out for a little while, liebe. Promise me you'll stay right there, okay?"

"Hai," Aya said shortly, lifting a hand in a little waving motion, then went back to staring at the ceiling. Schuldig's absence would almost be a relief. In a way, it was nice to be treated so much more kindly by him, but it was also admittedly very strange. He had been doting on her since she had first met him here, making her lie still and constantly asking if she needed anything, if he could get her anything to eat or drink or another pillow or some aspirin... it was almost tiresome. 

Despite the surreality of the situation, Aya wasn't as sure as she had been before that she really wanted to leave this place. She had always believed that everything happened for a reason, and the possibility had occurred to her that she was meant to be here. Or maybe she had always been here, and what she had thought were memories of her past were all just part of some particularly realistic dream. Thinking about it made her dizzy, and once again she had the sensation of being unable to tell if she was awake or asleep.

She closed her eyes briefly and the feeling passed, replaced by one of... calm, maybe even security. Yes, it felt right, the idea that she belonged here. A loving husband, two wonderful children, a beautiful house out in the country-- what more could she ask for, she wondered, stifling the tiny nagging voice in the back of her head that was trying to tell her that something wasn't right, no matter how utopian this vision seemed.

Of course, if it turned out this was all some kind of mistake or practical joke or dream, she would happily go back to her old life.

Wouldn't she?

Before she could explore that thought further, a familiar voice shook her out of her reverie. "Aya! We heard you weren't feeling well, so we thought we'd pay a little visit..."

Aya opened her eyes, and found herself looking upon one of the sweetest things she'd ever seen. Four familiar faces. So she wasn't completely alone in this world with her two stranger children and the not-quite-Schuldig. Jumping to her feet, she threw her arms around the nearest figure. "Niichan, you have no idea how good it is to see you!"

Laughing, Ran hugged her back, then released her and gently put her back down on the couch. "Careful, you should be resting."

Aya rolled her eyes good-naturedly, then turned her attention to greeting the other three. "Yohji, Ken, Omi, hello! It's great to see you!"

Yohji grinned. "Isn't it always great to see me?" he teased, making a show of fixing his hair and clothes.

"Nice to know you're so fond of our visits," Ken said with a smile, "but you're acting like you were surprised to see us... like you hadn't seen us in years! We just saw you yesterday."

"Well, truthfully I am a little surprised to see you," she said. "I was pretty sure I was alone here."

"Oh, gomen nasai, we just let ourselves in," Omi apologized. "We probably should've let you know we were coming."

"No, not that... I mean, alone here..." She gestured around her. "Wherever this place is."

The boys exchanged glances. "Er... your house?" Yohji asked.

Aya made a face, laughing a little. "Baka. No... this... world, this universe, whatever it is. How did you get here, anyway? I assume you've come to take me back."

Another uneasy glance passed between all four of them, and Aya felt a sudden chill. "You... do know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

"No idea, imouto," Ran said gently, a worried look in his eyes. "You're probably just tired. Maybe we'd better go, and let you get some rest."

"No!" Aya caught the panicky note in her voice and managed to calm herself down. "I mean, really, I'm fine. I'd feel better if you'd stay and talk to me."

"If you're sure..." Ran sat down beside her on the couch, and the others took chairs around the living room.

"How are things at the flower shop?" Aya asked, in an attempt to make small talk.

This only elicited yet another round of worried glances. "What flower shop?"

The slight chill Aya had experienced earlier suddenly became amplified. "The Koneko..." she said slowly. "The flower shop you all run together...."

Ran pressed his hand against her forehead, frowning. "Aya, I really think you should--"

"No, I think _you_ should!" she cried, losing her patience with the whole crazy situation. "I think you should tell me why nothing is the way I remember it, why everyone is acting so damn weird, and _where the hell I am!_"

There was a short, shocked silence after her outburst, in which Aya attempted to catch her breath, and Ran, Ken, Omi and Yohji seemed to be competing to see who could look the most stoically concerned.

Finally Ran stood up. "I think you need to rest," he said firmly. "You're very upset and obviously a little delirious. We'll leave now, and let you try to get some sleep, unless you'd like someone to stay with you?"

Sighing, Aya gave up. "No, I'll be fine. I guess I must be confused," she lied. "I'll feel better after I take a nap."

Ran's worried frown dissolved into a faint smile, and he reached forward to ruffle her hair. "Good girl. I'll see you later, imoutochan." The other boys gave their farewells, and then they were gone, leaving Aya alone with her endlessly circling thoughts.

Sighing again, she let her head drop back against the couch, closing her eyes. Maybe she _should_ sleep. Who knew-- maybe she'd dream her reality back again.

_end chapter 2_

   [1]: mailto:mpike@froggernet.com



	3. Three

Author:

Author: Kerianne _  
_Email: [][1]mpike@froggernet.com _  
_Title: Harsh Realities(2/?)_  
_Spoilers: None _  
_Warnings: Language, a wee bit of violence, and an utterly crackhead plotline. ^^;;;_  
_Author's Notes: Finally a bit of explanation in this part. There will probably only be one more part after this. Sorry about leaving everyone on a cliffhanger... hehe I'll try to get the next part out as soon as I get over my damn writer's block.

Chapter 3:

"Why did we agree to drive with him?" Yohji muttered to Ran, both of them looking slightly green as Schuldig's car swerved into another sharp turn.

"Because he's the only one who knows where we're going," Ran replied under his breath. After leaving Ken and Omi in charge of the shop, the two Weiss assassins had agreed to follow their former enemy, but only after Ran had quite vocally informed him of the various states of pain he would end up being in at the end of a certain katana if he turned out to be leading them into a trap.

"You boys have a problem with my driving?" The redhead smirked at them in the rearview mirror. "I could slow down, I suppose... You know, I wonder what they're doing to her right now.... They've probably got her tied up somewhere, or maybe they're--"

"Just drive," Ran growled, complaints forgotten as another wave of worry for his imouto washed over him.

"Good." Schuldig stepped on the gas again, letting the car shoot forward way over the speed limit. He wasn't exactly worried about getting a ticket, considering all he needed to do was tweak a few things in the policemen's minds and they'd never remember seeing him. Being a telepath did have its advantages.

About ten minutes later, Schuldig abruptly stopped the car in front of a large, industrial-looking building. "This is the place," he said brusquely, unlocking the doors, and all three passengers clambered out.

The place looked like a factory, or some sort of plant. Tall smokestacks rose against the darkening sky, puffing opaque black clouds into the air. As they neared the entrance, they caught sight of a large sign that read _____ LABORATORIES.

"Oh, lovely," Yohji muttered. "What're they planning to do, use her for a lab rat?" He shut up quickly after catching sight of Ran's patented deathglare.

They made it all the way up to the door before a guard stopped them. "Excuse me, sir, may I see some--" He stopped short, giving a soft, strangled cry before collapsing to the ground like a rag doll. Schuldig gave a serene smile, lifted the man's limp body, and carried him over to the door, where a fingerprint-scanning device was the only thing standing between them and entrance. The telepath lifted the unconscious guard's arm and pressed his thumb to the keypad.

"Access granted," said a soft, female computerized voice, and the doors slid open. 

Ran raised an eyebrow, following Schuldig and Yohji into the building. "Not bad." 

Maneuvering around the building turned out to be a bit of a challenge. The places was set up like a maze, full of seemingly endless corridors and hallways that all looked exactly the same. Early in their exploration, Schuldig had managed to knock out three scientists and steal their lab coats without anyone noticing, so at least they blended in.

"This is hopeless," Yohji said finally, after they had wandered around for about twenty minutes. "The place is huge. It could take days to find her. Schuldig, can you pick up any thoughts about her whereabouts?"

The telepath shook his head. "Too many people, I can't find one to focus on. We're going to have to find someone to interrogate. Find someone who looks important and get their attention, I'll do the rest."

That _someone_ turned out to be the first fairly important-looking person they came across, a scientist whose name tag read "Dr. Hayami". Yohji hurried up to the man, mind racing as to what he ought to say. "Sir, we have a hull breach on Level 2," he blurted, hoping he sounded fairly official.

Dr. Hayami peered at the assassin severely behind horn-rimmed glasses. "What on earth are you talking about, young man, there is no Level 2 here!" His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I don't think I've ever seen you here before..."

Yohji punched him in the face.

"Smooth move, Kudou," Schuldig hissed, melting out from behind a doorway and dragging the semiconscious scientist into the room he had just exited.

"You've got your man, don't you?" Yohji muttered, following the other assassin into the room.

Schuldig propped Hayami up in a chair, then closed his eyes in concentration. He opened them a moment later and swore softly in irritation. "He's got some sort of mental block up. I don't know what it is-- it's not like anything I've ever seen before. I can get into his mind, but only partway."

Leaning forward, he slapped the man briskly across the face. Hayami's eyes came suddenly into focus, and he gave a little gasping cry. "Fujimiya Aya. Where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Hayami's gaze was steely, and he glared at Schuldig with utter contempt. This earned him another sharp crack across the face.

"I said, where is she?"

Yohji watched his former enemy interrogate the scientist, frowning slightly. He would have imagined that Schuldig would enjoy this sort of thing, glean some sort of sadistic pleasure from torturing this man. But instead, he looked grave, serious, singleminded. Kind of like the look Yohji saw in Ran's eyes sometimes, especially when it came to his sister.

An odd thought occurred to Yohji then, but before he had a chance to fully consider it, he was distracted by a loud cry of pain from Hayami. Apparently the scientist's mental block wasn't strong enough to prevent Schuldig from twisting and squeezing his mind to cause pain.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time," Schuldig snapped in an intense, dangerous tone. "_Where... is.... she_?"

The scientist choked. "Let... let me go and I'll take you to her..." A moment later he slumped bonelessly in the chair, breathing hard. It was clear that the telepath had, for the moment, relinquished his hold.

True to his word, Hayami (once he managed to catch his breath and get to his feet) meekly led the three assassins through the twisting corridors of the labs. Their journey ended in front of an unmarked door in a small side hallway.

Schuldig turned back to Hayami. "We're going in. Keep watch."

Apparently, the momentary lack of a painful mental presence had given the scientist a certain amount of courage. "I don't know who the hell you and your friends think you are, but I'm not going to risk my job any longer to aid you in whatever criminal scheme you're trying to pull--" He broke off, uttering a faint cry as he fell to his knees.

"Okay, so we'll do without a watchdog," Schuldig muttered, shrugging as he stepped over Hayami's unconscious form and opened the door.

Exchanging glances, Yohji and Aya followed their former enemy inside.

The room was small and just as unmarked as the door that led into it, bare white walls interrupted only by a small window with a lovely view of the parking lot and storage tanks for chemicals. It was occupied by a single bed, which was surrounded by machines that looked almost like the life-support equipment at the hospital. Ran's stomach flipped over at the thought, and he rushed over to take a look at the occupant of the bed. Yohji and Schuldig were close behind.

"Imouto..." Ran murmured, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair off his sister's forehead. _I didn't think I'd ever have to see you like this again._ She looked exactly as she had while in the coma, peaceful and silent, almost as if she was sleeping.

"Maybe she really is sleeping this time," Schuldig said softly, and Ran whirled around, anger at having his privacy invaded burning in his eyes. The anger soon turned to confusion when he noticed the thoughtful, faraway expression on the telepath's face. 

"These don't seem to be life-support machines," the former Schwarz member continued, ignoring Ran's scrutiny. "She seems to be breathing normally... It looks more like these are monitoring her brain waves, for some reason. See, she's got those sensors on her forehead...." He stared down at the slight, unmoving form on the bed for a few moments. "My best guess would be that they have her in some kind of permanent sleep... sort of a forced coma." Without looking up, he sensed Ran's sudden tension, and continued, "We should be able to get her out of it. The only question is, how."

"Disconnect the machines?" Yohji suggested.

Schuldig shook his head. "If her mind is connected to them, we'll be shutting her off as well. It might kill her. We can't risk it."

Yohji frowned, half genuinely confused and half irritated with the telepath's know-it-all attitude. "Since when do you care about risks?"

"Since now." The clipped, brusque answer was clearly all Yohji was going to get out of Schuldig, who immediately returned his gaze to Aya's still figure. "Maybe..." he murmured, mostly to himself. His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, then snapped back up to Yohji and Ran. "You two, go out and grill Hayami for information. He should be waking up soon. I don't think he'll give you any trouble, but if he does, let him go and I'll fix things later."

"Wait a minute--" Ran protested, his brotherly instincts rejecting the idea of leaving his former enemy alone with Aya, especially considering their past together. But Yohji shot him a warning look, his own instincts telling a much different story, and dragged his friend out the door before he could make any more noise.

Schuldig, now the only conscious person left in the room, pulled up a chair and sat down beside the bed. For a moment or two, he just looked at her, at her pale, composed face, the loose raven hair that clouded around her head. Jaded eyes took it all in, and bemusedly he asked himself one question: _What the hell am I doing?_

Then he sat back in the chair, closed his eyes, and proceeded to risk his mind, his sanity, and perhaps even his life, by merging his mind with Aya Fujimiya's.

* * * * *

_Maybe I really *could* get used to this..._

Her former apprehension all but gone, Aya smiled and settled into the warm embrace that invited her. It was nighttime, the kids were in bed, and now it was just the two of them. Exactly as she'd always imagined it, going back to that very first day she had met him. She had thought of a normal life for them as something ridiculous, a pipe dream, as implausible and unreachable a goal as wishing to win the lottery. 

And now.... here it was.

Admittedly, it wasn't precisely what she'd expected. She hadn't planned on losing her memory, or being transported to an alternate universe, or whatever had happened to her. But maybe that really didn't matter, in the end. Maybe this was the only way she could possibly be with him... perhaps fate had intervened on her side, and delivered her her own little miracle.

"You're lost in thought." He spoke softly, directly into her ear.

"Why don't you just read my mind?" she teased.

"Very funny, liebe. You know I'm not a mind-reader."

Aya flinched a little at the words, another small reminder of the discrepancies between this life and her memories. "I was just... ahh... thinking about... you know, us."

"Good topic..." He sounded somewhat distracted, lips tracing a path down the side of her face. She allowed her eyes to drift shut, worries forgotten for the moment.

Then the doorbell rang.

Muttering something that sounded like German, Schu gently shifted her onto the couch and got up to answer the door. Aya followed; although she was no longer really worried about getting back "home", she still hoped the new visitor could provide some insight into her new surroundings.

She looked at the tall, red-haired, blue-eyed man standing on the doorstep.... then back at the tall, red-haired, blue-eyed man standing beside her, inside the house. After a few glances back and forth, she tossed up her hands and turned around to sit back down on the couch. "You know what, I'm not even going to ask anymore. This is just way too surreal. Somebody let me know when the twins have decided to go back to being one person, the way they're supposed to be."

The second Schuldig pushed his way past the first, who was looking rather perturbed, and came to stand in front of Aya. "I'm just as confused as you are, actually. If this is your dream, it's pretty fucked up."

"Well, at least you're acting like yourself," Aya muttered.

"In any case, I'm here to try and get you out of this."

"What is _this,_ anyway? And how did you get here-- assuming you really are you, and not just another reasonable facsimile..." Aya flopped down into a reclining position, throwing one arm over her eyes. "I give up. I'm just gonna stay here until the world starts making some semblance of sense again."

"Well, if you'd like to hear my theory..." Without opening her eyes, Aya could tell he was smirking away as usual. For some reason, that was strangely comforting, rather than irritating as it usually was. He was the only thing in this crazy place she'd seen so far that was acting normal. "You might not remember at the moment, but you were kidnapped. Apparently you were taken to a laboratory. I'm not sure what they planned to do to you, but most likely it was some kind of grandiose take-over-the-world scheme, these things usually are." He paused a moment. "I'm guessing that they put you into a kind of forced coma, hooking you up to machines that would keep you in some nice, pleasant dream, so you'd never want to or try to awaken." He looked around, back to the first Schuldig, who was bitterly glaring at him, and laughed aloud. "This is the best fantasy you could come up with?"

Aya sat up, eyes narrowing. "If you came here to make fun of me--"

"Calm down, I didn't." He sat down beside her on the couch. "I came here to try to take you back. In order to... well, enter your dream, I guess you could say... I had to merge my mind with yours."

"Permanently?"

"Well... sort of. We already had some kind of connection, because I was able to hear your thoughts at the moment you were kidnapped without even seeking them out. This will probably just strengthen that."

Aya stared at him. "... Why?" she asked, after a moment of silence.

The redhead scowled. "Is that all you people ever ask? _Why, why, why._ Do I have to have a reason for _everything _I do?"

"I suppose not," Aya answered, a faint smile crossing her face. 

Schuldig didn't answer. The momentary silence was soon broken by the first Schu. "I don't know who you are, or why you look like me, but I'd appreciate it if you'd get out of my house. Aya is not feeling well as it is, and she doesn't need this kind of overstimulation."

Schuldig number two snickered and turned back to Aya. "Just as I thought-- I can't read his mind. There's nothing there. My little clone over there is nothing but an electronic impulse in your mind."

"Maybe you're not real either," she challenged.

He smiled. "Oh, no. I'm real." The words stirred up memories within her that made her blush, having exactly the effect on her that he had expected. "I'll prove it to you. All you have to do is wake up."

Aya blinked, and suddenly she knew she _could_, if she wanted to, all she had to do was open her eyes, and this whole surreal situation would be gone. She could go back to her brother, her friends...

... back to Schuldig being his usual sarcastic, cynical, cruel self. Leaving behind the one who loved her, the one who she had married, had children with, the one with whom she could finally have that normal, peaceful, calm life she'd wished for.

"Children?" The horrified expression on his face would have been amusing, had she not been grappling with such a difficult choice. His tone soon shifted to a more serious one. "Aya, you can't consider staying here-- staying like this. If nothing else, think of your physical form, back in the real world. Who knows what those doctors plan to do to you?"

"You're not going anywhere, Aya." The first Schuldig stepped up to stand beside the second one, making her a little dizzy, as though she was seeing double. "Especially not with _him._ He doesn't appreciate you the way I do."

"_He's_ not even _real._"

"He'll never treat you with the respect you deserve."

"Aya, you have to come with me... think of your brother!"

"This man is lying to you. Your brother is here, so am I, and if you go with him, you'll lose everything."

"If you stay _here_, you'll lose any opportunity to ever live a normal life again!"

"I love you. Please stay with me."

She was desperately trying to keep up, gaze bouncing between the two Schuldigs as if she were watching a tennis match. But the last statement made her stop, her eyes settling on the one who had said it, hoping for a split second that it had been the real Schuldig.

The one she wasn't looking at snickered a little. "Right. As if I'd ever be that sappy."

Aya's spirits sank, but she tried not to let it show. He was watching her carefully, and picked up on it, sighing faintly. "Listen, Aya. I know you're confused and everything, but you've got to make your decision. And if you have any brains in that pretty little head of yours, you'll choose to go back to real life."

She closed her eyes. "I... I don't know."

She heard him give a soft sound of irritation. "What is there to debate about?"

Gathering her courage, Aya opened her eyes and locked her gaze with his. "I suppose the only question here," she began softly, "is whether I want to live with an inferior simulation of you... or without the real thing."

The question seemed to catch him off-guard, and he took a while to answer, but his eyes never wavered from hers. "What if you could have the best of both worlds?"

Her eyes widened a fraction, and she bit her lip, not sure how to respond. "I... well, I... I guess I would..."

"Then come with me." He was speaking more seriously than she'd ever heard him speak before.

Taking a deep breath, she broke eye contact with him and looked around, at the beautiful little cottage. Imagining the way the rolling green hills looked during the daytime, the bright eyes of her "children", the blue of the sky and the warmth of the sun. She thought of the busy, familiar streets of Tokyo, the loyal affection her brother held for her beneath his stony facade, the friendly faces of Yohji, Ken and Omi. And finally her eyes returned to the two figures standing before her-- one a dull and flawless figment of her imagination, one real and perfectly flawed. One representing comfort, security, a constant and sure thing; one representing risks, uncertainty, with the possibility of a lot of excitement and, if she was lucky, maybe even a few dreams coming true.

She took another deep breath, stood up, and made her choice.

__

_end chapter 3_

   [1]: mailto:mpike@froggernet.com



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